Bittersweet

Today was our third anniversary. Unfortunately, there was a completely distressing head-on collision that we were first to come across as we were going on our joyful business. I wrote a blogpost on my personal blog as soon as I came in to try and deal with my feelings. I still feel like I shouldn’t have seen what I did when their families didn’t even know anything was wrong. We came home, after having eaten nothing or hardly spoken all day. We decided that although we were subdued, we mustn’t let the event disproportionately affect us.

I don’t knock up chocolate cookies after tragedy. But we must eat, and this was the most convenient and thoughtless thing I could throw together just for calorie intake as I’d made the mixture last evening and left it in the fridge. When we finally got home it was just easy to mindlessly scoop out the mix, cook it, and try to move on with a glass of the pink fizz we’d set aside for our intended evening ‘celebrations’

The recipe is a shameless copy of nigella’s, pasted below:

150 g light brown sugar
100 g soft butter
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
150 g flour35 g cup cocoa
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
200 g chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 180°C. Cream the sugar and butter (I use a freestanding mixer for ease), then beat in the egg and vanilla. Mix the flour, cocoa, and baking powder in a bowl, and gradually beat into the creamed mixture. Finally, fold in the chips. Using a rounded tablespoon measure, spoon out scoops of cookie dough and place on baking sheets lined with baking parchment, leaving a little space in between each one. Bake for 12 minutes and then let them sit on the baking sheet for a couple of minutes before moving them to a cooling rack, with some newspaper on the surface underneath.

The cookies taste best warm, and refridgerate no problem for a few days so cook in batches as needed. They proved a standby for us today.

We haven’t stopped thinking about those who were in so much suffering today, and their families. I hope today will prove to be an anniversary, for them, of a lucky escape.

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